How to handle dating rejection

20-Dec-2016 08:05

When you get rejected and you’re only given a vague explanation, it’s tempting to start filling in the gaps with your own insecurities like “Oh, it’s because I’m ugly.” In Psychological terms, you’re doing something called “projecting,” which means that you’re guessing what Projection is an error in thinking, and it often leads you to form terribly inaccurate conclusions about where other people are coming from.

So advanced does it appear, so streamlined and slick-interfaced and "Jetsons"-esque, that it's easy to overlook a very basic truth: Online dating is the freaking savanna. As in, early humans tearing around the open grasslands without much regard for courtship courtesy. Instead, we'd like to tell you, starry-eyed romantics with big dreams of finding love: Toughen up. Stop weeping onto your keyboard in the online quest for love.

Instead, be smart about where you look for potential dates. Meetup isn’t touted as a way to meet new dates, but it damn well should be.

Go out and find groups of people amassed around activities that are close to your core values.

It will quickly break the tension in the air, and allow you both to enjoy the party. Even if you get rejected over something you can’t control, improving something else that you’re insecure about will make you more confident, and will help you face the next romantic challenge with better odds of success.

Until you start being friendly, the last memory you have of each other is the rejection. Make the last memory some random conversation at a party. Break the awkward tension with friendliness and nonchalance. It’s impossible to make yourself the perfect romantic prospect, but it’s easy to make yourself a romantic prospect.

So advanced does it appear, so streamlined and slick-interfaced and "Jetsons"-esque, that it's easy to overlook a very basic truth: Online dating is the freaking savanna. As in, early humans tearing around the open grasslands without much regard for courtship courtesy. Instead, we'd like to tell you, starry-eyed romantics with big dreams of finding love: Toughen up. Stop weeping onto your keyboard in the online quest for love.

Instead, be smart about where you look for potential dates. Meetup isn’t touted as a way to meet new dates, but it damn well should be.

Go out and find groups of people amassed around activities that are close to your core values.

It will quickly break the tension in the air, and allow you both to enjoy the party. Even if you get rejected over something you can’t control, improving something else that you’re insecure about will make you more confident, and will help you face the next romantic challenge with better odds of success.

Until you start being friendly, the last memory you have of each other is the rejection. Make the last memory some random conversation at a party. Break the awkward tension with friendliness and nonchalance. It’s impossible to make yourself the perfect romantic prospect, but it’s easy to make yourself a romantic prospect.

Dealing With the Immediate Aftermath Dealing With the Rejection Long-Term Handling Rejecting a Proposal Community Q&A Any kind of rejection, no matter if it's in love, your career, friends, a book proposal or anything else, is not something that should affect how happy you are.